Dear Tony Meadow,
I understand that over the last few months you have been busy in Barcelona chasing independentistas.
This is just to remind you that next Tuesday, February 6th, you should be at Littlebushes for my trial.
Please bring your friends. I just learned this week that you have very interesting friends at the Public Ministry. I would love to meet Ricky Martin, as it sounds to me like a Texas cowboy. Tell White Socks that I have already bought a new pair for him, brand new. But... please, Tony... please ... above all... bring the Blonde. I love blondes. I promise no sexual harassment, just pure seduction.
I was told yesterday that your cousin Paul Arthur Castro has requested the judge to be absent from the trial with the excuse that on Tuesday he is too busy at the European Parliament in Brussels.
I was so disappointed, Tony. Please, try to persuade him otherwise. Tell him that I am setting up a big party that day in honour of the Castro family at the Littlebushes Court, with champagne and all that. My donkey Castro is also joining the party. The three of you will really feel in family.
Looking forward to see you on Tuesday.
PS. Don't forget the Blonde.