he used to visit

My grandfather came to live with us the last years of his life. This was Lisbon in the early sixties. He was a tall, thin man from Alenquer, who had lived most of his life in Lisbon. He was now in his early eighties and had been a widow for many years.

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Soon all of us, his grandchildren, got used to have grandaddy at home and we all respected him and his ways of enjoying life. Every day after lunch he would leave for a walk and would return late in the afternoon. He walked with a cane.

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My mother started to worry that, at his age, he could have an accident or get lost in his travels,and each day, before he left, she would ask him:

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-So, where are you going today?

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For several years in a row, he would reply to this daily question with one of two standard answers:

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-Até onde as pernas me levarem;

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or:

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-A diversos pontos da cidade.

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As the years went by, and he got older and older, these no-answers would often leave my mother pretty worried. But they show how much granddady praised his freedom of action and how he evaded control of his life until his death. Looking in retrospect, I see this episode as typical of our Catholic culture, and of our love for freedom of unhindered, unrestricted action.

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It would be different in a Protestant environment. Most likely, grandaddy would not be allowed by his close family to go alone for his daily walks at that late age and with the help of his cane only. He would be accompanied by an adult; or he would be required to leave his coordinates at home and report home at regular points in time, say, by phone. Occasionally, worried mom would call police to locate his whereabouts. He certainly would not be as free, and happy, as he was spending the last years of his life walking around in the very officially Catholic Lisbon of the nineteen-sixties.

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Let me just add one more detail. Only several years after his death my mother came to know at least one of the destinations of his daily afternoon walking trips. It happened the day she hired a new maid. Pointing at the picture of grandaddy, she asked mom:

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-Is this old gentleman your family's?

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-Yes. He was my father-in-law. Why, did you know him?, mom said.

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There was silence for a moment. Then, a little smile in her eyes, she discreetly confided to mom:

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-You know, he used to visit an old lady who lives in my neighbourhood...