the bribery game

She always dreamed of being a judge. When she was a child, during her Summer vacations in Ovar, she would play the bribery game with two boyfriends of her age, Manuel Littlegod and Joe Cliffs. Ovar was a little town in the district of Aveiro, Portugal, the birthplace of her father and where her grandparents still lived. It was from the Aveiro region she inherited the family name of De Almeida.

Manuel Littlegod, then seven years of age, would play the role of the businessman trying to bribe Joe Cliffs, aged nine,  in the  role of the public sector manager. Littlegod would offer Cliffs all sorts of gifts  such as candies, chocolate bars, small bottles of sumol in order to get public contracts involving millions of euros awarded to his company. The case would go on trial and little Cathy, at the age of eight, would be the judge.

Usually both boys were acquitted, but there were cases in which at least one of them would be convicted. One day, in a particularly mischievious bribery case engendered by the boys, Cathy gave Cliffs a life-sentence and  Littlegod the death-penalty.

Playing the judge in Ovar were some of the best childhood memories she kept from her Summer vacations in the region of Aveiro.

Many years later, she followed closely a much publicized case of bribery on trial in the Aveiro Court. It involved her two childhood boyfriends, Cliffs and Littlegod, the latter being now called the Ovar Scrapman. Both men were severely sentenced by a grand-jury, Cliffs to ten years in prison, Littlegod to eighteen.

More recently she learned from the Morning Mail newspaper that Littlegod was on vacation in Brazil, while waiting for the appeals. He had appealed to the Circuit Court of Oporto, to the Supreme Court, to the Constitutional Court, to the Commerce Court, to the EU Court of Human Rights, to the UN Court of  Rights of Man, to the Court of Sacavém where such cases of bribery usually got much lighter sentences. He even appealed to the Light Court, as SL Benfica' Light Stadium was popularly known.

Blessed the country - Cathy thought while reading the Morning Mail - whose justice system is so stern that it allows its heavily prison-sentenced people to travel for vacations in Brazil.

Sitting in her office of Matosinhos, she was now in a hurry and decided to call her childhood friend in Rio de Janeiro.

-Manuel?... This is Cathy De Almeida speaking... do you remember me? ... we used to play the bribery game in Ovar... many years ago...

-Hello Cathy!... How are you!?... How long ... did you make it to judge?...

-Oh Manuel ... sort of ... I failed the exams... I got close... I am now an instruction-judge in Matosinhos...

-Ohoooo... I am not surprised ...I still remember the death-penalty you sentenced me to ... just for a little bribery to Joe Cliffs ... a ten-billion euros public contract just in exchange for a small bottle of gasosa...

-What are you doing now in Rio ... Manuel...?

-Well ... just bribing Brazilian public officials ...it's much easier than Portuguese ... and sentences are much lighter ... even though jails are more crowded here... 

-Oh... so exciting!...

-But ... now, Cathy... tell me ...What can I do for you?

-Listen... Manuel... It's very important and urgent ... and very much secret ...Have you heard of Peter Throw?...

-Peter Throw!? ... Sure I did !... He is the most famous Portuguese criminal in Latin America running away from justice ... Oh, well ...  the most famous ... after me...

-Look ... he is aboard an helicopter short of fuel... approaching Rio... with President De Susa also on board...

-President De Susa too!?...

-Yes ... President De Susa too... and three other passengers ... My question is ... could they make an emergency landing in your backyard?...

-Sure... sure they can! ... I am just going to take the chickens out of there in a minute...

-OK, Manuel ...thanks... Within fifteen minutes they will be landing...I'll talk to you later...