19 agosto 2017

los Borges

"Nada o muy poco sé de mis mayores portugueses, los Borges...", said Portuguese Ambassador Henry Borges a few years earlier,  quoting Joe Louis Borges, the great Argentinian writer, in his accreditation speech before the Buenos Aires authorities.

It was the prestige of the whole Portuguese nation, and of the Borges family in particular, that was now at stake. Ambassador Borges started to notice that something was wrong with President De Susa.He would get up in the morning and walk around the embassy in pijama talking to people as if he was talking to a TV cameraman. At formal dinners in the embassy he would talk to the ambassador's wife as if he was giving an interview to Judith De Susa, a distant cousin.

The last time he participated in a radio talk show, he commented on subjects as diverse as the last football match between River Plate and Boca Juniors; how fado was by far more meaningful than tango; how the election of the next Portuguese Pope would change the Catholic Church, allowing women to become priests and priests to become women. According to him, Christian Ronald was a more valuable player than Messi in terms of money owed to Spanish tax authorities.

Ambassador Borges was very much worried and - one must admit -, a little bit jealous, when President De Susa gave an interview to the national newspaper La Nación. By then, the Portuguese armada had left Argentina for two weeks, without any of its members ever leaving Buenos Aires.

In the front-page title of the  interview, the Portuguese President is quoted as saying: "Tengo muchas saudades de Peter Throw":

-Mr. President, why did you stay?

-To catch Peter Throw...

-Alone?...

-Alone!...,

he said smiling, and added:

-Well ...with the help of  Toni Meadow, a great Portuguese criminal investigator....

-Why such a strong national focus on Peter Throw?

-Because he is a national hero... and a  friend of mine...

-A friend of yours, Mr. President?...

-Yes, we met several times in the nineties when we were the two celebrity commentators at TSF... obviously, he second to me...  Yo tengo muchas saudades de hablar con Peter Throw...

-Why?

-Because he is such a stimulating man... at that time he would privatize Portuguese rivers left and right ... he would sell human organs at local markets...and above all, now he wouldn't marry the girls of the Left Block... he loves Eleanor Beauty instead... and so do I...

-What if you catch him?

-I will issue  a Presidential pardon to him .. and I will award him the Henry Gold Medal for Distinguished Services to the Portuguese Nation in the next 10th of June celebrations to be held in Buenos Aires this year...

-Did you ask permission from the Argentinian Government?...

-What for!?...

But, definitely,  it was the last Presidential sentence in the interview that most disturbed Ambassador Borges:

-There will come the day, which is not too far in the future, when a Portuguese Ambassador will arrive in Buenos Aires and can proudly claim "Mucho sé de mis mayores portugueses, los Throws..."

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